Can Masculinity and Femininity Be a Choice?

There are many people today who believe that masculinity and femininity are a choice that each individual gets to make at some point in their life. In the higher educational system, I was taught that when a child is born, he or she comes into the world as a “clean slate.” With this theory, children start with nothing and can become anything they want to be as they interact with and learn from society. Through this “nurturing” from society, the child grows into masculinity, or femininity as he or she chooses. Yet, this is not what happened with the boy in the Botched Circumcision article. His account is a clear testament that masculinity and femininity are not learned from society, or taught by parents, but are imbued in a child’s brain during the natural processes of embryonic development. Masculinity, or femininity is embedded by nature into a boy or girl during this development without them having any say in the matter whatsoever. Even with this knowledge and understanding, today’s society still views masculinity and femininity as a simple matter of choice.

The Choice Game

We are faced with many choices every day such as what deodorant type and brand to buy, or what to watch on the TV. The power of choice has now even spread to my hospital where the personal information form for patients has been changed to include: Sex Assigned at Birth, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation. Many of today’s Grandparents would say that each of these choices are for the same thing: male or female. They are not. These sexual identity choices are the latest addition to what I call, The Choice Game. If you have been paying attention to the news, the choice game consists of two main rules.

Rule #1 – I get to choose to be anything that I want to be. Period.

Rule #2 – Everyone in society must acknowledge my choice and treat it as reality, no matter what it is. If they don’t, they will hurt my feelings and dangerously challenge my self-esteem.

Under these rules everyone in society has been given license to be be identified as a different gender. Boys can now choose to be, or identify as, girls, and girls can choose to be boys. Once the choice is made everyone has to go along with it. Now, I don’t buy that for a second. The Choice Game doesn’t work, and I’ll show you why just by playing the game.

So, it’s my turn to choose to be something. I choose to be… the lord and master of everyone. Yes, and because of Rule #2 you have to treat me like I am your lord and master. You have to do anything I say because if you don’t, you are going to hurt my feelings and challenge my self-esteem. Now, as your lord and master, you will give me your most prized possession because I want it. And after that, I want you to give me all your money. If you have a house, hand over the deed. Car? All mine. According to The Choice Game rules, whatever I choose has to be honored and treated as reality. Does that work? Does choice equate to reality? No, it doesn’t. Choosing to be something contrary to our nature does not establish a reality. A leopard would have just as much of a chance to change his spots by choice as men or women would have in changing their gender (Jeremiah 13:23). Some may argue that choosing to be the lord and master of all is not the same as choosing to be a different gender because you aren’t hurting or affecting anyone else with your choice. Really? The choices that people make do affect those around them. The changed personal information form for my home hospital is a testament to that. I didn’t want that changed. And, who says I’m not hurt by that? No, a choice is a choice, and The Choice Game doesn’t work for the same reasons that a person’s state of mind doesn’t dictate reality (See Defining M & F If Derived from the State of Mind).

About the author


Hi, I'm Tim Trautman, an aspiring blogger with a special sensitivity to issues surrounding Masculinity and Femininity. This blog is designed to make readers aware of the issues and grant a healthy understanding of what Masculinity and Femininity are.

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